Saddleback's Impact (a ferocious love affair)

I feel like I've spent the last 3 days engaged in a ferocious love affair, a steamy get away with Jesus. Over the last 3 days I have felt His presence in ways that I haven't ever felt before. Honestly, twice I even looked over my shoulder while I was "alone" in my hotel room because I felt such a manifest presence. While I have spent my days learning from, and rubbing shoulders with, some of the biggest names in ministry, I have felt Jesus scraping away at some of the ugly, broken layers of my heart. I've felt Jesus wooing me and courting me all over again. Though I can't really describe it, I've taken a recent measure of His grace extended to me and found that it is more expansive than all I've ever considered. I swear to you I'm more head-head-over-heels in ridiculous love with my King today than I've ever known. It's the most gloriously scary feeling that I've ever experienced. In some ways, I feel like I'm out of control.

That He made me...
That He saved me...
That He rose for me...
That He indwells me...
That He is preparing a place for me...
That He is coming back for me...
It is all just taking my breath away...

And that's not all...He is calling me. And more so than ever before, I hear His call. I've awakened in my sleep over the past few nights with dreams of encountering Jesus and Him saying, "Mark, follow me." "Mark, feed my sheep." "Mark, come and die." I awaken to those words with my heart pounding in my chest and sweat pouring off of me. I swear if I were not at this conference, I'd be convinced that I'm going a little crazy. But it's true...He's calling me. Over the course of this conference we've seen videos of the poor and oppressed; we've heard statistics about death and poverty and it is affecting me more profoundly than ever before. In fact, it's down right breaking my heart. When Rick Warren said this quote today, something snapped in me that is still deeply broken...He said, "What God wants more than anything is for His lost sheep to be found."

My God, forgive us that you are still grieving for your lost children.

Perhaps I've said it before, but this I say again. I'm done. I'm finished. I've seen Jesus, and all I know is that this world has nothing for me. I've seen His cross and been changed. As a husband, father, and disciple I will follow Him straight to the doors of hell to fight for those who are perishing. I know in whom I have believed. I know that my Redeemer lives. I know that He is able to do immeasurably more than I could ever hope for or imagine. May He ask no longer, "Whom shall I send?" I will go.

Let nothing hold me back, slow me down, distract me, discourage me, dis way me, or dilute my passion for Him. It's not about me...not anymore. It's all about Him. It's all about the approval of my King. That is true Charis and Arene. May I find it. May you find it, as well.

PS - As I said earlier, I'm just in stupid love with Jesus right now. And I intend to feed that love, so I'm going to be restructuring my schedule over the coming weeks to spend more time with Him. So...if it takes me a little extra time to return an email or phone call to you, I just ask for your patience. One of the things that I've learned this week is that I've gotta start giving Christ more quality time. I hope you understand.