What are the most difficult things about ministry?

During my time at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary two days ago, I was asked by a group of students to blog about what I felt were the most difficult things about working in ministry and how I deal with those difficult things.

So...shout out to everyone at PTS! And here we go:

1) Working in ministry, some people are just going to hate you no matter what you do.
It's the cold hard truth, but it shouldn't surprise us...Jesus said that they would. Regardless, people's distrust, dissatisfaction, and extreme criticism can become one of the most exhausting and hurtful parts of the gig. I've had people make hurtful comments about me over all kinds of crazy things...the types of games I allow to go on during my programs, my hairstyle, my vocabulary, my insistence upon praying in Jesus' name, the list goes on and on... And what's worse, in most cases they didn't even bring their comments and concerns to me. They chose instead to spread their opinions in the form of parking lot gossip. Ugh...

How I deal with it:
I confront the complaint with a teachable spirit. Not only is it Biblical (Mt. 18), but in most every case, a Pastor can learn something from confronting the complaint when they do it with a teachable spirit. Many times I have learned that at least part of the complaint carried some merit, and I was then able to make some healthy changes. That being said, there have been times when the complaint carried absolutely no merit. Regardless, confronting them in a Biblical manner let that person know that I was going to treat them the way that Jesus has called me to...that's a win in any case. At the end of the day, however, a Pastor has to learn how to deal with the emotional baggage of these types of things. I have learned that it helps me to FOCUS ON THE FRUIT of my ministry. For example, my last sermon series was a study on spiritual warfare called "All Out War". We began every program with a different kind of war just to get the ball rolling. One night we had a nerf gun war, then a marshmallow war, etc. Over the course of those weeks I had several parents become uncomfortable with the idea of such shenanigans going on at a church. Well...what they weren't aware of is the fact that several kids accepted Christ as a product of that environment. You can read about it here if you'd like. Everytime I started getting down on myself because I was being criticised I focused in on all of the fruit that was showing in our ministry. Bottomline, you and I can argue all day long whether or not a Pastor should have a Mohawk or whether or not there should be planned pillow fights in our programs, but no one who knows the power of Christ and His Gospel will argue with you over a changed life. FOCUS ON THE FRUIT!

2) No one tends to your soul on a consistent basis.
Who cut's the barber's hair? Who performs surgery on the Doctor? And in most cases, who shepherds the shepherd? This is quite a problem for a lot of ministers because they spend so much of their time and energy pouring into others, and no one pours back in to them.

How I deal with it:
Read this blog.

3) You're often unable to really worship in your own church.
It seems strange to say, but it's true. You'll go into the sanctuary of your own church with a hunger for God and a heart thirsty for Jesus, and then the service begins...and you can no longer focus on God because there is dust on the pulpit, or there aren't enough ushers to accommodate the morning's crowd, or the sound system keeps feeding back, or ____________ (fill in the blank). And the problem with any and all of these things is that, as a Pastor of the church, you feel responsible for fixing those problems. Let's not even mention the hundreds of people who may want to talk to you over the course of the morning. Frankly, I can't worship some Sundays because I'm so distracted by it all.

How I deal with it:
Let me begin by saying that I haven't gotten this one all figured out, but I have found it very helpful to pray about it BEFORE I arrive at church on Sundays. I do...I beg God to so captivate my spirit that nothing and no one will get in His way. Also, I've decided to live with the fact that I can only be responsible for my own weekend preparations...what I mean by that is this...If it wasn't on my personal "to do" list, then I don't have to carry a burden of guilt about the fact that it didn't get done. Dusting the pulpit, for example, is not on my "list" of Sunday preparations. That doesn't mean that I won't or wouldn't find a rag and dust it off if there were time to do so...It just means that I'm not going to grieve the fact that the pulpit didn't get dusted when I'm supposed to be in an attitude of worship.

4) Your Pastor is your boss.
This is something that is getting discussed a lot behind the scenes at Charter Oak Church in recent weeks. Not necessarily because we're having major problems with it, but rather because we are trying to be concious of it and healthful in our approach. That being said, if I may be so transparent, most days I live feeling like I don't have a Pastor. And the reason for that is simply because my Pastor and my boss are one in the same. Is it possible to wholeheartedly listen to the man who just held you to a strict deadline (because of his position in the organization) when he takes the stage to teach you about grace (because of his position in the Kingdom)? Think about it...

How I deal with it:
I don't know what the best fix for this is. Of all of the difficulties that I list in this post, this is the one that I struggle with the most. I've made compensations here and there that have been helpful overtime, though. For instance, I have a mentor that is not in any way connected to Charter Oak Church that I conference with on a weekly basis. He speaks into my life in many ways that a Pastor would, and I'm able to dialogue with him free of worry that this conversation could impact my employment. I have also learned to not wait around for my Pastor to minister to me. If I'm in need, I take the burden upon myself to get assistance. After all, I'm just one lamb in a flock of many. That being said, I hope that no one would ever read this and think that I am trying to speak critically of Pastors Dave or Chris by saying what I have here. I'm not! They are wonderful men of God who are both great Pastor's whom I love and respect very much. This is just a reality of church work that the enemy can use to get at us.

5) You're probably going to over-extend yourself.
Working in ministry, you're either going to be tempted to, or expected to, have your hands in on everything. From meetings, meals, and ministry steering committees, to preaching, programming, and problem solving...there are times when it seems like EVERYONE is counting on you, and you are left feeling like you have to manufacture time just to make it all happen. Don't...you can't. It isn't healthy. You'll burn out and become a statistic.

How I deal with it:
I read this book, and I learned how to say "no". I've also learned the value of delegating everything that can be done by someone other than myself...I'm still developing a habit of putting it to practice, but I'm getting better at it. Also, I sit down with my calendar scheduling as much of my life as I can weeks and months in advance when possible. I've found that this practice helps me find margin for Sabbath, family, etc. And once that schedule is set, I stick to it like glue. Time management = a happier life as far as I'm concerned.

To those who asked for this post, I hope that this has given you some food for thought. Grace and Peace.