Tending to my own soul

I love working in ministry. I say that with true sincerity. There's really no other job like it in the world. That being said, it is also one of the most demanding jobs in the work force...Working in ministry, you're always "on". Midnight phone calls, emergency visits, weddings, funerals, preaching, studying, praying, organizing, casting vision, endless meetings, the list goes on and on, for example...Everyone always expects you to have some insight or advice regarding even the most difficult of situations. Everyone expects you to make wise choices and be a glowing example of Christ in the world. Everyone expects you to know the "right thing to do" and be willing to do it quickly and with gladness...all the time...Truth is, ministry can be really draining. Factor in some of the "catch all" tasks that are written into most minister's job descriptions and the unreasonably high expectations that can be put on a minister's family, and what you begin to see is that, in the business of soul tending, one of the first things that gets overlooked is the concept of a minister tending to his own soul. Ask anyone who's ever served in vocational ministry, and I guarantee that they will agree with me.

Because of this, I make it a point to give my faith walk regular "check ups". What I mean by that is two or three times a year I give myself a sort of spiritual "physical" to make sure that I'm not retarding my own growth in Christ by spending so much time pouring in to others. I do this by wrestling with a few hard-hitting questions. These questions:

1) What am I praying about lately?
I ask myself this question because the heart of the matter is not whether or not I pray...I'm certainly praying, but where I cut corners can sometimes be identified in what I actually pray about. Asking myself this question, I've learned that it's incredibly important to be intentional about approaching my prayer times with the integrity that is needed to stay committed to praying over the items that I should be holding before the Lord. Asking myself this question, I wrestle with things like: Are my prayers "me" centered, or are they "God" centered? Am I actually praying for the people for whom I have told I will pray? Are my prayers the product of mindless habit, or are my prayers "real" conversations between God and His beloved disciple who is passionately engaged in dialog with Him?

This question reveals so much about my motives to me. It is a true assessment of the heart.

2) What am I learning from my Bible study lately?
By asking myself this question, I am easily able to assess whether or not the time that I spend in study and teaching is being personally and spiritually profitable. That being said, you should know that I am a firm believer that the Bible wasn't intended to be read as much as it was intended to be studied and applied to one's life. Many people are impressed by learning that you have read the Bible cover to cover, but, frankly, I'm not. In fact, I wouldn't be impressed to learn that you've read the Bible from cover to cover a hundred times if you can't tell me what you got out of it. The reason for that is simply that I've read many books that I didn't get anything out of. And what's more is the fact that I have read the Bible from cover to cover many times, and the familiarity of the text can sometimes lull me into an unintended, subconscious lack of focus on receiving fresh insight from the Word of God. Therefore, I have to purposefully put effort into seeking God's Truth every time I read scripture. Simply put, I never want to stop growing in the Word. Not even for a season...

3) What am I sharing with my accountability partner lately?
No one knows what I'm struggling with better than I do, but if my accountability partner doesn't know what I'm struggling with...well, then I'm not honoring the relationship that God has called me to keep with my accountability partner. I want to grow. I want to be the disciple that God created me to be. I want to undergo the kind of deep heart change that is required for a sinner like me to become Christ-like, and the best place for that process to be fascilitated is inside of an accountability covenant. But where I can be tempted to cheat is in remaining committed to the idea of honest, full disclosure with my accountability partner. That's because there are times when I have let my pride dictate what I'm going to share, and what I'm not going to share, with my accountability partner. I've learned from this that my relationship with Christ suffers when I let my pride get in the way, so I put my best effort into handling my accountability time with integrity.

Here me on this...full disclosure with your accountability partner may be humiliating on the short term...but dishonest disclosure with your accountability partner will be devastating over the long term.

4) How am I loving God and loving others lately?
I'm just going to come right out and say it. Loving God well is not something that comes natural to me, and loving others well is something that comes even less natural to me. Keeping that in mind, I want to make sure that "I'm smoking what I'm selling". I want to walk the walk and be true to the lifestyle that I teach, and that means that I have to really focus in on being a better lover for God. I used to pray that God would make my eyes open to the ways in which I could daily fulfill the two great commandments, but I've recently learned to ask Him for the courage to take action on the things that He has made me able to see. Above all else, I want to love well. Love wins, you know...and I want to be a part of that revolution.

Hopefully this has given you some new insight to learn of the process that I go through when I intentionally tend to my own soul. Perhaps it would benefit you to consider these questions yourself.

Grace and Peace