Another life changed...

I received the letter below in an email yesterday. Like I said in an earlier post, this kind of thing just never gets old.

PM-

I haven't been myself recently. Or, more truthfully, I've been way myself way too much, completely abandoning the person that Jesus has been making me. I've made bad decisions, become reckless and thoughtless, disregarding the consequences that my actions would have on me or the people around me. And now I'm beginning to face those consequences: my reputation has plummetted, some people are disappointed in me, some have lost respect for me and some have left my side completely. And a lot of these reckless decisions stemmed from my being hurt a few years ago-hurt to the point of not really trusting anyone with who I am and feeling completely worthless. And just two weeks ago I began to deal with this thing. This thing that I had never actually talked to anyone about, never said out loud, because I was so afraid of the thought of it.

But I was praying with a good friend of mine that night at youth and talking to him and suddenly I had this voice saying "tell him, you can trust him with this. you need to deal with it." So I told him. And I cannot tell you the weight that lifted off my chest the minute the words were out of my mouth. I told him how, because of that, I had freaked out and ruined every relationship I'd had since then and gotten myself a really bad reputation and hurt so many people. And he told me "you may have a history that you're not so proud of, but none of us, not Mark or God or your real friends or me, none of us care. we love you."

In that moment I realized something that I should have realized a long time ago. I am not my mistakes, I am not my bad choices, I am not my history. I REFUSE to be defined by my actions. From now on, the only person who I will allow to define me is Jesus Christ and the only action that will remind me of who I am is him dying on the cross. No more regrets, no more dwelling on my screw ups. They aren't me. I'm no longer bound by the mistakes of my past and I'm no longer trapped by this thing that had me convinced that I was worthless and broken, that no one would ever want me. For the first time in a long time I've come to realize that someone does want me and that someone is the Creator of the Universe, the Alpha and Omega, and he's my abba daddy. I'm no longer crushed under the weight of my past. I am free. And I'm just really, freakin excited about it and wanted to tell you cause you've helped me through this too, whether you knew it or not and it's all just sooper awesome. thank you.

Please join me in praising God for the revival that is ongoing in our Student Ministry.

ps - the pic at the beginning of this post is the thumb prayer that we ended last night's ABS meeting with...priceless!

Grace and Peace